Power is a Bullet, Don’t be the Killer. Power and Sexual Violence

The catastrophic downfall of Hollywood big names like Harvey Weinstein and Bill Cosby might come as a surprise to some people, but for victims of sexual assault or sexual harassment, this is not news. The commonality of people that cause sexual harassment to others is that power is typically the bullet used to cause harm or discomfort.

Power

Power is the ability to do something or act in a certain way, and it gives you the ability to influence the behaviour of others. Whether attained through education, age, sex, title, strength, looks, position, skills or wealth Power brings respect. People might not like you, but they will fear and respect you.

Few things I learn about power

Power gives strength
Power can silence the weak
power can create change
power can be earned and unearned ( the one you work to receive, the other was handed to you)

Loading the gun

Everyone has some degree of power. An older sibling has a certain level of control over her younger siblings. A 75-year-old man has the capability of skills and experience over a 19-year-old. Likewise, a CEO of a company, a father in a household, etc. Power helps to create order, structure, and consistency. But when abuse or misused, it can develop crimes that usually left many people as victims. I once had a customer service job at a used car dealership. I was a student and a single mother, so I desperately needed the extra income. My boss knew my situation, and he tried many times to use my circumstances as a way to satisfy his sexual appetite. Because this was not a new experience for me, I had found ways to deal under those circumstances. I would continuously dismiss his actions. Not in a rude way as I needed the job. And I will tell him I was in a good and stable relationship and sometimes I will physically push his hands away from me. Him being married and with children almost my age, never stopped him from harassing me. Eventually, I found another job and quit silently.

Pulling the trigger

The sad reality of power abuse is sexual violence. Let go back to slavery and think about how many women were raped by their slave masters? How many children were raped during the Residential School System? Like me, many women have fallen victims to sexual harassment. Unlike me, so many have fall victims to sexual abuse and violence. What happens to our morality as humans when we attain power? I believe Bill Cosby and Harvey Weinstein are well educated in ethical principles and religious values. So, why would they and so many other offenders, choose to use their positions and wealth to cause oppression to others?

Where do we go from here?

Recognised your powers and how you use it to the people around you. Once you are aware of your privileges, examine your actions and behaviors with the people that come in contact with you.

Stand up for others who might not have the voice or ability to speak up. Being a concerned citizen means being your brother’s keeper.

Teach your children about the signs of sexual harassment and make it easier for them to talk to you about it. Your child will not tell you everything, but speak to him or her about these issues and give them the solutions and space to be able to be comfortable enough to talk about it.

Do not promote or idolize celebrities or leaders that abuse their power or encourage behaviors that support sexual violence.

Don’t be silenced. The more we talk about these issues, the more we can impact change. People that abuses power should be held accountable. We should not give them the opportunity to think that their money or fame can protect them.

Teach boys about consent. Teach kids about values. Be a better example for kids to follow.